I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
