That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
