I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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