Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
