What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
