I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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