We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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