Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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