i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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