i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
