I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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