Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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