covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize