I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
50% drunk capacity currently
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
