JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
