doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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