The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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