He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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