there's paper in my vomit.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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