It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
