scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
