she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
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And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
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With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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