You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
