end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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