well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
