Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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