did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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