just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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