I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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