What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My first STD was from a foam party
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
No subtext here. People are naked.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize