theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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