Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
