Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
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I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
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My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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