The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
