just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
