If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Non-Jews are for practice
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
