how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
