i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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