I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
