there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
