Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
