mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
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So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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