Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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