If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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