I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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