Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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