Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
