I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
