it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You're a disaster
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