Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I had to cum in my sink.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize