Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
