she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
