I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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