i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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