i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
