Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
