that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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